Sometimes I say something silly to my children like, "You are eight, you need to act like it." Replace eight with the age of the child. The silly thing about this is that when I say it they usually are acting their age, which happens to entail them doing something immature. However my real message is, "You are not acting as mature as I want you to act and I would like you to start acting it." I think my children receive the message with that understanding at\s well.
If I am right then I am using the "act your age" words as a red herring to successfully convey a similar, but different message.
Do I go for accurately conveying my message or effectively conveying my message? Being a parent is difficult for someone like myself who likes to overcomplicate what should be easy matters.
This post really hit home for me as I find myself getting frustrated with my kid who is all of five weeks old. I have to constantly remind myself that "he's just a baby," and I can't expect him to eat when I want him to eat, tell me what is wrong with him, or otherwise convey his frustrations in ways other than crying. Thanks for reminding me that I can't expect him to act eight years old (or anything other than five weeks). :)
ReplyDeleteWhen my kids are goofing around and the noise bothers me, I try to remind myself that they are kids after all and that this is their time to act like this.
ReplyDeleteI also remind myself that later in life I'll have my quiet mornings and my quiet house... and probably miss the laughter of children in the background!
I find parenting complicated too, by the way.